ii miss him..
Somtimes I wonder how come I cant just have my dad here. I see other girls with their dad and how happy they always seem to be, I wonder how it feels to know that he will always be there for them, to know that there will always be that one most important male figure to be there when needed. To support you and never judge you. I cry because its just not fair that someone just took that all away from me.

I want to be able to call him up and just talk, I wanted him to be here and watch me grow up, come to my graduation, walk me down the aisle for my wedding, and now I really wish he could be here to experience the birth of my child.

At times I try not to think about him at all, but when I do the emotions start to go crazy, I wonder what he would look like now, how my life would be if he were here.. These what ifs drive me crazy.

The other day we were driving in the car and my husband said "I hope it is a girl, because then i know that will always be my girl, no matter what happens she will always be my girl" maybe it the pregnancy emotions but every time I think about what he said just makes me sad because I know that how my dad felt about me and I just wish he were here to show it.

If it is a girl I never want her to experience the things I do, the heartache of not having her dad around. I want her to have every bit of love that he can give her. I am just so happy that Logan is going to be her father I know he wont let her want for anything and he will always be there by her side to love her and protect as my dad did for me before he was taken away..
Posted on 2012 Jul 16 by Racquel

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